Coming Unglued: A Mystery
by iheartkatamari
Summary: Based on an episode of Jessie, hilarity and much slapstick ensues when Kid and his friends attempt to unravel the mystery of who glued Ichiman's hands to his head. Contains my OCs and a bit of Kid/Roxanne.
1. A Sticky Situation

**This story, which is part of an Ultimate Muscle series I'm creating, is based on an episode of Jessie entitled "Glue Dunnit: a Sticky Situation." The storyline follows the continuity of the TV series, and also includes several of my fan-made characters introduced on my DA page, katamariluv. Please enjoy!**

 **All franchises referenced in the story belong to their respective owners.**

It's a peaceful day in Japan. Inside Muscle Stadium, several wrestlers are taking part in matches in many separate rings. In the ring closest to the door, Kevin Mask scoffs confidently as he stands across from Kid Muscle, with his arms folded across his chest, "Go ahead, try and take me on, Kid Muscle. Be careful not to hurt your little dainty toesy-woesies." Anger crosses Kid's face. "Toesy-woesy _this_ , Kevin Mask!" He then begins to charge straight toward his foe, fists clenched in determination.

In the ring just across from them, Shinobi Shannon is facing Hanzo. "Ready to see some ninja magic?" Shannon says fiercely as she strikes a ninja pose. "Hmph," the samurai replies indignantly. "Your fancy parlor tricks don't scare me!" The two then begin hurrying toward each other, clenching their teeth.

In yet another ring, Silver Fox and her good friend Golden Receiver are taking part in a tag team match against Road Rage and Hydrazoa. "Ready to have your license revoked?" Road Rage says confidently. Silver bares her fists as a determined grin spreads across her face. "Only if you're ready to be outfoxed!" At once the two quickly begin to grapple. "Go, Silver, go!" Golden valiantly cheers her from the sidelines, flinging his green gloved hands in the air.

In the announcer's booth near the doorway, Mac Metaphor and Doc Nakano are commentating on these many vivid battles. Sitting in a small wooden chair next to them is Checkmate, who hadn't been participating due to there being an odd number of wrestlers available at the time. "Well folks," Mac says. "It certainly looks like a good day for wrestling." Doc adds, "Yeah, I'll say!" Just then, they hear a familiar voice calls from the doorway, "Uhm, excuse me." Upon this, everyone, announcer and wrestler alike, immediately stop in their tracks and whip around to see Ichiman McMadd standing in the doorway, with a shopping bag in his left hand and his little dog Garnet's(1) leash in his right hand. "I'd like to make a few adjustments to the matches here." Everyone exchanges disconcerted looks. "Mmn," Golden nonchalantly whispers in Silver's ear. "Wonder what his plan is."

"I'm not sure," she whispers in reply as worry wrinkles her brow. "But knowing Ichiman it's unlikely to be anything pleasant."

Ichiman walks up to the ring where Kid and Kevin are wrestling; several stagehands follow him closely behind. "Now, for this match, we'll be bringing two more wrestlers in," The stagehands then leave and presently return with Dik Dik Van Dik and Wally Tuskett, whom they hustle into the ring. "Easy now, no shoving."

"Hey, do you mind?" Dik Dik grumbles with annoyance.

"This is uncalled for." Wally notes dolefully.

"Now, we'll be making this a cage match," Ichiman continues as a large steel cage falls over the ring. "And to make this a tiny bit more challenging, we'll unleash a bunch of ferrets in here." One of the stagehands then opens up a large pet carrier, setting loose a large collection of small brown and beige ferrets into the ring. "Please don't worry if they take a few nips at your knees or toes, they're just having fun." Ichiman punctuates his sentence with a sly chuckle.

Ichiman then moves on to the ring where Shannon and Hanzo's match is taking place. "Now, for this match, we'll also bring in two more wrestlers." The stagehands then leave again and return with Golden and Silver. "And to make _this_ a little more challenging we'll dump about a thousand marbles into the ring." The stagehands then dump a large container of multicolored marbles all over the floor.

He then traipses up to another ring in which King Muscle and Robin Mask are wrestling. "Now this match will be held underwater," Upon this a large glass tank falls over the ring, which the stagehands quickly begin filling with water. "And we'll throw a giant squid in here to liven things up." A crane then gently lifts a large purple squid into the tank. "Don't worry, he won't squeeze you too much, heh, heh." Ichiman snickers.

Ichiman then sets about making irritating changes to the other matches, such as bringing Jaeger and Cheval in to take Golden and Silver's place in the tag team match, then putting a cage of howler monkeys just outside the ring, putting a hive of angry bees in the upper corner of a ring housing Brocken Junior, Buffaloman, Ramen Man, and Sosumi, and putting strips of sticky taffy all over the floor of a ring where a tag team match between Terry Kenyon and Sydney Didgeridoozy and Ricardo and Comrade Turbinsky is taking place, and the like. "Have fun!" he chuckles nastily.

The four wrestlers in the first ring hop frantically about, trying to keep from getting bitten; as Kid bends over for a moment, he feels a CHOMP! and looks over his shoulder to see a ferret biting him in the butt. "Oh, pancakes." he groans woefully. Kevin himself soon ends up with several ferrets chomping the knees of his pants and tugging on his long blonde mane, causing him to grumble angrily.

The four wrestlers in the second ring skid around the floor like unsteady rollerskaters and end up tumbling and crashing into each other. "Oogh." Shannon groans as she falls flat on her face. "Oof." Hanzo mumbles as he topples into the ring ropes and flops to the mat.

King Muscle and Robin Mask swim frantically around the tank, dodging the squid's ever-flailing arms, but quickly get caught and squeezed tightly. "Ughh," King Muscle wheezes. "This match is all wet." Robin groans, "And we're even wetter. Refresh me memory, your majesty, how'd we get roped inta' this one again?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm definitely thinking twice before taking part in another!" King Muscle replies. "Me too." Robin notes woefully. "Well, this ain't no fun for me, either, y'know." the squid notes. The two wrestlers only stare blankly.

As the two struggle to wrest themselves from the squid's grasp, a stray piranha swims by and bites King Muscle in the butt(2). " _YEOWWW_!" he cries. " _I'M LOSING MY MIND!_ " Robin mumbles under his breath,

"Mmn, can't miss whatcha never had."

"Pardon me?" King Muscle inquires. "Uhm, uh, I said, 'This is very sad.'" the masked knight quickly replies. "Hmm, why yes, it is indeed." King Muscle notes. _Pfew._ Robin thinks with relief.

In the ring where Terry and Sydney's tag team match is taking place, Sydney and Ricardo are trying to grapple, but are hampered by the sticky floor; they quickly get stuck to each other as they try in vain to pry themselves free. Road Rage chuckles as he watches from the ring across the way. "Hey, Ricky! You sure are sticky!" he taunts raucously. "When I get unstuck, you es in muy, muy, mucho trouble!" Ricardo snarls.

Mac and Doc cringe at the wrestlers' discomfort as Ichiman approaches them. His gaze falling on the shopping bag in Ichiman's hand, Mac inquires, "Pardon me, sir, but what might be in the bag?"

"Ah, I'm so glad you asked," Ichiman replies grandly. "I've just bought a tube of my new favorite hair gel, 'Do Glue. Be on the lookout for Un Coiffure Extrordinaire." He motions to his hair with a flourish. "If I see him, I shall contact the authorities at once." Doc replies. Mac blinks in perplexity. Ichiman then traipses over and seats himself in the chair Checkmate was sitting in with a resounding _MUSH_.(Nice, huh?) "What is touching my derriere?" he grouses. "It is most unpleasant."

"'Tisn't a what, 'tis a who," Checkmate mumbles dolefully, his face squished against the back of the chair. "And the feeling is most mutual indeed."

(1) Garnet is based on Mrs. Chetserfield's dog Zeus in the original Jessie episode; she is also the same breed as Zeus.

(2) Like father, like son!


	2. Acting Stuck Up

A couple of hours later, when the matches have(Mercifully) ended, Kid and his friends limp weakly through the front gates and collapse onto a soft grassy hill just outside the stadium, woebegone and worse for wear; Kid's trainer Mr. Meat worriedly follows them closely behind. Noticing the group looking at him with concern, Kid reassuringly notes, "Please don't worry about me, guys, I'm quite fine."

"Are ya sure?" Meat replies. "You've been callin' me Specialman Jr. for the last ten minutes." Dik Dik and Wally look with irritation at the ferrets still clinging to the knees of their costumes. They gently tickle the little animals under their chins, causing them to let go and scurry away. "Ooh, boy," Silver groans dazedly as she and Golden lie limply next to each other on their backs. "Ichiman sure put us through the wringer."

"Oh my," notes a worried Wally. "If I may ask, please, what was the worst part?"

"When he put us through an actual wringer." Silver replies.

Across the way from them, all of the other wrestlers are gathered about, worn and woeful. An aggravated King Muscle dumps two veritable fishbowls of water out of his boots and squeezes out his socks. "Ughh, my clothes won't dry out for weeks!"

"At least you're not starting to rust." Robin replies with annoyance as he tips water from his helmet and wrings his red silk cape out like a cloth. As he slowly stands up, Robin's gaze falls upon two stray ferrets biting on his metal knee pads. "Scat, you!" he exclaims, upon which the little creatures quickly let go and scurry away. King Muscle then peeks over his shoulder to see a big hole ripped out of the back of his pants, exposing his(Very ridiculous looking!) underpants. "Oh, pancakes." he groans.

As Kid turns slightly, he notices a sizable hole ripped from his own pants, exposing his(Equally ludicrous looking!) underpants, made by the ferret earlier. "Oh no!" he despairs. "Now how will I be ready in time for my date with Roxanne?"

"Please don't worry, Kid Sweetie," Sydney replies reassuringly while pulling the last few pieces of taffy from her boots and furry pink sleeves. "Roxanne luvs ya; she won't have any criticism of ya." Kid sighs wistfully as a small reassured smile crosses his face. "Gosh, thanks, Syd." The koala girl beams. "Yer very much welcome, mate."

"Oogh," Shannon groans as she sits in a melancholy heap on the ground, rubbing her sore nose, her pink scarf hanging awry. "There truly were no winners in this match."

"'T'wasn't much more pleasant from where I was." Checkmate replies piteously, rubbing his still sore, puffy cheeks.

"Honestly, it seems like ol' Ichiman don't got nothin' better t'do than make us wrestlers miser'ble," Terry states as he yanks the final piece of taffy from his own boots. "It's only jus' a matter a'time 'til someone gives him what fer." He's no sooner said this when Ichiman bursts through the front gate, clutching his hands to his head and holding a small tube between his teeth. " _AAAAHHH! KID MUSCLE!_ " he screams. Upon seeing this, the wrestlers(Who were feeling much better by now) gasp in shock. "Ichiman, what happened?" Kid inquires.

"My hands are glued to my head, that's what happened!" Ichiman snaps in reply as he rapidly spits the tube out. "One of you miscreants stole my hair gel and replaced it with _glue!_ You should be ashamed." The wrestlers promptly burst out laughing. "I'm only ashamed that I didn't think of it myself!" Dik Dik chuckles jovially.

"Just out of curiosity, sir," Silver inquires. "How were you able to open the doors in the main hallway?"

"The same way I'm going to clobber you twerps... _WITH MY ELBOWS!_ " Ichiman roars as he begins charging angrily toward the group. Hoping to defend his friends, Meat quickly hops between them and Ichiman. "Sir, please! Before ya, uhm, try ta unscrew our heads with yer elbows, please tell us why ya think it was us."

"Because the last place I had the 'Do Glue when I was in the arena with all of you, and that's the only place it could have been switched."

A stern look crosses Meat's face. "Sir, I can assure you that these wrestlers and I have been together all day; none of them went anywhere near your hair gel." Ichiman shoots a disbelieving look at him. "If that's true then you should be able to find me the real culprit." Meat nods obligingly. "Don't worry, sir, we will."

"I expect so." Ichiman replies harshly.

Kid then traipses up to Ichiman. "In the mean time, I'll help you get your hands unstuck, sir; please don't worry, I'll have it done in a jiffy." Meat picks up the wayward tube from the ground. "'Stay Stuck Glue, won't come unstuck, or your money back.'" A disconcerted look crosses Kid's face as a bead of sweat trickles from his forehead down his cheek. "Uhm, did I say a jiffy? I had actually meant _several_ jiffies." Ichiman glowers at him. "You'd better make the best of this, Kid Muscle, or else." Upon this, he then leaves.

The wrestlers blink curiously as Kid and Meat rejoin them. "Hmm, we've got quite a task ahead a'us," Meat muses, rubbing his chin. "There were tons a'wrestlers in that stadium, all with mighty good reason to want to get back at Ichiman. How are we gonna ferret out da guilty party?" Just then, another stray ferret scurries up to them. "No not that kinda' ferret."

"Well," Sydney replies. "Perhaps we kin begin by eliminatin' th' negatives. Now, we now with proof positive that it weren't any a'us, and may or may not a'been Mac or Doc, but this still begs th' question a'who it mighta' been."

"Hmm," Silver muses as she turns to Kid. "Kid, do you remember offhand who all were in the stadium at the time besides us?"

"Well," Kid replies. "There was my dad, Kevin and his dad, Jaeger and his dad, Road Rage, Hydrazoa, Hanzo, Ramen Man, and...hmm, several more I don't recall."

"Don't worry, mate," Sydney replies. "I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of this soon." At this moment, Monsieur Cheeks traipses up to them. "You rang?" The wrestlers stare oddly. "Remind me to fire him." Silver whispers to Dik Dik, who nods in agreement.

A concerned look crosses Kid's face. "It only begs the question of how I'll find the culprit when I'll be busy getting Ichiman's hands unstuck." Silver kindly replies, "Please don't worry, Kid. We shall find them."

"Yeah," Golden adds. "We'll stick to it!" He turns to Dik Dik. "Get it, Dik Dik? Get it? Stick to it?"

"I got it, I got it," the antelope man groans, clutching his head. "Like a migraine!"

"We'll sniff out the guilty party and come back in plenty of time for your date with Roxanne." Shannon notes. Kid smiles happily. "Aww, thanks, guys! This is very kind of you." Shannon beams. "You're very much welcome, Kid." The three then begin to set off. "Goodbye! Please take care!" the two groups of friends call to each other, waving politely.


	3. In the Cards

The three friends then make their way into the large open stadium area. "Hmm, we'll need to look for anyone who might be behaving suspiciously." Silver notes. "Right!" Her two friends nod in agreement as the three begin to scan the area. The first person Silver's gaze falls on is Jaeger, who's sitting at a small picnic table with his sister Jayda sitting next to him, both happily munching on some sausage. "Hmm, no," she muses. "Too peaceable." She then looks around some more, presently spotting Ramen Man, who's sparring with Buffaloman. "No, too polite." She then continues browsing, upon which noticing Road Rage, who's sitting in the bleachers, reading a newspaper. "No, too... _obvious._ " Just then, Silver quickly notices Hanzo strolling casually down the path out of the corner of her eye; he has his hands neatly tucked behind his back, never moving them even when stopping to speak with the other wrestlers he passes. The fox girl gets a knowing gleam in her eye. "Aha, we seem to have found our first suspect!"

"Hanzo," Shannon glowers. "I should have known!" It was a well known fact that Shannon's father Ninja Ned had a rivalry with Hanzo, as such she herself did as well. The three then traipse up to Hanzo. "Uhm, pardon me, Hanzo," Golden inquires. "But may we see your hands, please?" The samurai promptly unfolds his hands and holds them up with his palms facing in. "No, the other way." Golden says, upon which Hanzo turns his hands sideways. "No, the other other way." Hanzo then folds his hands on top of each other. "No, the other other other other other other other other..." The samurai moves his hands, left, right, up, down, and every which way. Shannon facepalms in exasperation. "Show us your palms!" Hanzo hesitates with concern for a moment, then turns his hands outwards, revealing two playing cards stuck to his palms.

The three gasp; Shannon's bright green eyes narrow. "Exactly how do you explain _this_ , Hanzo?" The samurai indignantly puffs, "Hmph, I owe ninjas no explanations."

"Come now, Hanzo," Shannon replies with a touch more severity to her voice. "We know that you were the one who glued Ichiman's hands to his head."

"Ichiman, bah!" Hanzo grumbles vindictively. "That scoundrel very much got what he deserved for sending me skidding and tumbling around that ring like a mad hockey puck! But I didn't do it."

"Don't lie, Hanzo," the ninja girl replies harshly. "We see the cards glued to your hands."

"Well, I had been building a house of cards earlier." the samurai replies. Shannon shoots a disbelieving look at him. "Building a house of cards does not require _glue_." Hanzo quickly amends, "Granted so, but it kept falling over. I put the glue back in the drawer when I was finished." The three friends exchange curious looks. "Hmm, his story seems legit." Silver notes; Golden nods in agreement. Shannon gives the samurai one last severe look. "Just stay out of trouble or I'll be back." Hanzo's only reply is an indignant "Mmn." as the trio leave.

Meanwhile, in Ichiman's dressing room, Ichiman sits on a large fancy couch as Kid(Who fortunately had a pair of rip-free pants) traipses up to him with a pair of scissors, grinning jovially and playfully clipping them as he goes. "Come near me with those and they'll end up in your spleen." Ichiman glowers sharply, upon which Kid pauses and backs off, clipping the scissors a bit more quickly; he then stashes them in a drawer and traipses back up to Ichiman. "Now, I need to warn you that this might hurt a bit." Kid then gently holds Ichiman's left arm and begins yanking hard. "Ow, _owwwwwww!_ " Ichiman winces. "Watch out for that, it's an antique!"

"What is, the furniture or your body?" Kid replies. He then lets go, accidentally sending Ichiman toppling backwards. Worried, Kid runs up to him and gently scoops him up. "Sir, sir, are you okay?"

"Yes, but you won't be once I get my hands-uhm, elbows on you, Kid Muscle!" Ichiman growls. Kid gulps nervously.


	4. Puzzling it Out

Meanwhile, the three friends continue their search. Traipsing past another corner of the stadium, they scan the area once more, upon which quickly locating Robin Mask, who is chatting with Grandpa Muscle about strategies for the next match; like Hanzo, Robin has his hands folded behind his back, discreetly cloaked by his red cape. The trio exchanges curious looks. "Could Mr. Mask really be the guilty party?" Silver whispers. "He never seemed like the devious type."

"I'm not sure," Shannon replies. "But this does certainly look suspicious." Hoping to learn more, the three quietly traipse up to the masked knight; Silver gently taps his shoulder. "Pardon us, Mr. Mask." Robin slowly turns his helmet clad face to her. "Yes, lass?"

"Have you, perchance, heard about Ichiman's hands getting glued to his head?"

Upon hearing this, Robin's red eyes narrow as he begins shaking his fist with fury. "Ooh, that _scoundrel_! He's surely gotten what he deserved for nearly drowning King Muscle and me in that tank with that dratted squid!(To say nothing of those obstreperous ferrets.) Why, I believe-" He stops short when he notices that he's absentmindedly opened his hands, revealing a collection of small, brightly colored puzzle pieces glued to his palms. "Egad."

Silver blinks her deep brown eyes in amazement. "You glued Ichiman's hands to his head, Mr. Mask?" Robin chuckles politely, "Oh, mercy no, me dear. Much as I might've liked to, I didn't punish Ichiman, discretion being the better part of valor and all that. I'd been putting together a jigsaw puzzle and those pesty ferrets kept scattering the pieces everywhere; I hadn't much choice but to glue the pieces down. I put the glue on a table in the main lobby once I was done." Silver smiles. "Certainly, Mr. Mask. Thank you for your time." Robin beams. "You're most welcome, lass."

As the group begins to leave, however, Robin suddenly yells, "OOH! OUCH! OH! GREAT SCOTT!" causing them to immediately stop in their tracks. Robin then whips around to see three ferrets biting on his cape and two more chomping on his kneepads again. The masked knight woefully groans, "Oh, marshmallows!" as he buries his face in his hands. "Please don't worry, Mr. Mask," Shannon says helpfully. "We'll get rid of them." She takes a small packet of corn chips out of her pocket and tosses a handful of them ahead. "Snack time, guys!" Upon this, the little animals quickly let go and scurry away. The masked knight breathes a blissful sigh of relief. "Ahh, thank you, me dear." Shannon smiles. "You're very much welcome, sir. Please take care." Upon this the trio then set off again. _Hopefully this is the last we've seen of those ferrets._ Silver thinks.

Meanwhile, Kid, after having bought a special glue solvent in town, returns to Ichiman's dressing room. "Okay, I got the recommended solvent." he notes. "Ahh, very good," Ichiman sneers sarcastically. "And it only took you a half hour. I'd applaud you, but _my hands are stuck to my head!_ "

"And there they will stay, because you are a crabby appleton!" the wrestler replies firmly, folding his arms. "I apologize for the harsh language, but I'm upset." As Kid begins to leave, Ichiman begs, "Wait, wait, please help me." Kid hesitates for a moment and sighs, "Ohh...all right." Hoping that he wouldn't later regret this decision, Kid then traipses up to Ichiman and begins spraying the solvent all over his hair; once he finishes, something suddenly catches the wrestler's eye. His brow wrinkles with concern. "Uh oh..."

"Uh oh? What uh oh?" a perplexed Ichiman inquires.

"It says that it shouldn't be used with artificial hair coloring." Kid replies dolefully. "I'm so sorry..."

"Well, I don't see what the concern is, I'm a natural blonde."

"Or it could cause a severe reaction."

" _GET THIS STUFF OFF OF ME!_ " Ichiman shrieks. Frantically, Kid dabs some water on a washcloth and tries to wipe the solvent out, unfortunately without success. "Hmm," he muses, picking up the tube of glue. "Maybe I could just call the glue factory...Ooh, this is kinda' sticky." As he tries to put down the offending tube, Kid suddenly hears a seething sound and looks up to see smoke pouring from Ichiman's head. "Ooh, this is not good."

"AAAAAAUGHHHHH!" Ichiman screams as he leaps from his chair. Hoping to calm the situation, Kid urgently notes, "P-please don't be upset, sir, it's not that bad."

"Oh really?" Ichiman snarls. "I beg to differ, Kid Musclehead!" A disconcerted look crosses Kid's face as the smoke begins to dissipate. "That's it!" Ichiman thunders as he begins running toward a phone on a nearby end table. "Everyone in that arena is going to _pay!_ "(1) Frantically, Kid runs up to him and grabs his left arm. "No, please don't, no-" He stops short upon discovering that his hand is now stuck to Ichiman's arm. "Oh, pancakes, now I'm stuck!" The wrestler tries valiantly to pull his arm free, but unfortunately has no success. "Ooh, that didn't help."

"Lovely...just lovely..." Ichiman grumbles.

(1) How he intended to answer the phone with his hands glued to his head, we may never know.


	5. Good Luck, Unstuck

Meanwhile, the trio of friends continue their trek as they come to a mostly empty section of the stadium. Noticing a disparity of potentially suspicious types, they're about to leave, when suddenly Golden notices Monsieur Cheeks strolling past the empty rings with his hands suspiciously tucked into his pockets, singing a cheerful song, " _Tiptoe from your pillow, to zee shadow of zee wil-low tree, come tiptoe dans zee tulips avec moi..._ " At once the three hurry up to him. "Uhm, pardon us, Monsieur." Golden inquires. Upon this, Cheeks slowly turns to face them. "Ah, bonjour Mademoiselles Silver and Shannon and Monsieur Golden," he politely greets them. "Comment-allez-vous zis fine afternoon?"

"We're doing quite well, Monsieur," Shannon politely replies. "But may we ask you a question, please?"

"But of course."

"May we...see your hands, please?"

"Mais oui." Cheeks obliges as he removes his hands from his pockets and holds them out with the backs facing out. "No, the other way." Golden says, upon which Cheeks turns his hands upside down. "No, the other other way." Cheeks then turns his hands sideways. "No, the other other other other other other other other..." Cheeks moves his hands, left, right, up, down, back forth, and every which way. Silver groans with exasperation, "Please show us your palms." Cheeks pauses with a concerned look in his eyes, then opens up his palms to reveal a series of small stone chips stuck to his hands. The trio's eyes grow wide. "Monsieur, did you glue Ichiman's hands to his head?" Golden inquires.

"Glue Monsieur Ichiman's hands to his head?" Cheeks echoes. "Oh, ho, ho, why non, mon amis! Although Monsieur McMadd did cause very much trouble, I did not choose to, 'ow you zay, punish him. I was making a stone sculpture of my great grandfather zee Marquis of Cheeks, but quel dommage, on top of his head zhere was a crack!" Silver quickly bites her tongue. _Don'tsayitdon'tsayitdon'tsayit..._ she thinks.

"I used zhose glue to fix it; I put it back in zee drawer after I am finished." Cheeks concludes. Shannon gives a small smile. "Certainly, Monsieur. Thank you very much for your time."

"You are quite welcome, Madame." Cheeks replies politely as the trio begin to leave. No sooner do they begin nearing the path, however, than Golden yells, "OOH! OW! ACK!" and begins hopping up and down. Concerned, his two friends look to see two ferrets chomping on the toes of Golden's paw shaped boots; thinking quickly, Silver gently tickles the little animals' noses, causing them to let go and scamper away. "Pfew, thanks oodles, Silver," Golden sighs. "Those ferrets are getting to be a real pest." Upon hearing this, Cheeks blinks in perplexity. "I do not understand, Monsieur, zee ferrets 'ave not given me one bit of trouble all day."

 _I...think there may be good reason for that._ Shannon thinks.

"Oh, by zee way," Cheeks inquires. "Would you care, 'ow you zay, for a bit of assistance in zhis? I shall be most 'appy to help." The trio exchange concerned looks. "Uhm, we appreciate the offer, Monseiur," Shannon replies tactfully. "But it shouldn't be necessary."

"Zertainly, Madame, but please do let me know if I can be of help wis' anything." Cheeks obliges as the group then leaves.

Meanwhile, back in Ichiman's room, Kid and Ichiman exit the bathroom as a toilet flush is heard. The two exchange nonplussed looks. "That never happened." Kid notes. "Agreed." Ichiman replies. As the two then make their way toward the center of the room, Ichiman shudders, "If something isn't done soon, I'm going to lose it! _Lose it!_ "

"Don't worry, sir," Kid says reassuringly. "I'm sure there's something we can do. In fact," An idea suddenly hits him. "Perhaps Roxanne can help." Nothing daunted, the wrestler removes his cell phone from his pocket with his one free hand and dials his girlfriend's number. "Hello, Roxanne Sweetie, I hope this isn't an imposition, but Ichiman and I, well, we've gotten into kind of a situation. We've kinda...sorta...gotten glued to each other...Uhm, yes...can you help us please?...Cool, thank you, Honey! Goodbye." He then hangs up.

"If she doesn't come soon, I'm prepared to chew off an arm...and it won't be my own!" Ichiman glowers. Kid shoots him an angry look. "Likewise." Just then, the door swings open and Roxanne comes in, holding a small silver cooking pot. "Here I am, fellows," she cheerily greets them. "I've brought my mom's secret gravy recipe; it'll loosen anything, candlewax from a table, a hair clog from a bathtub drain, and it's Heaven on meatloaf." Kid smiles as Roxanne begins to spread the gravy on his and Ichiman's hands. "Thanks so much, Honey, you're a lifesaver." Roxanne beams. "You're very much welcome, Dear."

"Eww, ughhh," Ichiman cringes. "I've never been so disgusted in my whole life!" Kid replies, "This wasn't the biggest thrill of my life either, mister," He then sniffs the air and licks his lips, "Though I am beginning to get the strangest craving for turkey. Is that paprika?"

"Yes indeed," Roxanne replies politely as she finishes. "Now, it takes a few seconds to work, so please hold very still."

"Ah, thank you," Ichiman sneers sarcastically. "I was going to suggest we go inline skating." Kid and Roxanne wisely ignore him. "So, uhm, tonight should be fun." Kid notes. "Yeah," Roxanne replies. "We missed the dinner reservations, but we can still catch the movie; I just _love_ romantic comedies!"

"Ooh, me too!" the wrestler replies excitedly. "This is Hollywood Bowl's most raved about film. There are these two lovers who meet in the produce section of a grocery store," Roxanne happily replies, "Ooh, indeed; it's so sweet when he looks into her eyes and says, 'My heart _beets_ for you and you alone.'"

"Yeah," Kid sighs. "And when she says, 'I'll never _lettuce_ be lonely."

"Ooh, indeed," Roxanne replies blissfully. "And when she tells him..." Their conversation is quickly halted as the two hear Ichiman laughing loudly and sarcastically; Kid shoots a blank look at him. "Aand you don't care."

"Quite the contrary, Kid Muscle for brains," Ichiman replies. "I'm enjoying this little conversation of yours very much...ABOUT AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED MY LAST ROOT CANAL!"

At this moment, Ichiman feels his right hand loosening from his head, upon which he pulls it away, leaving a large bald spot. Kid gasps with delight, "Awesome possum, it worked!" He then tries to remove his hand from Ichiman's arm. "Oogh, careful!" Ichiman grimaces. "You're going to pull off my flesh!" Within moments, Kid and Ichiman abruptly free their hands, causing Ichiman to tumble into a nearby chair by a mirror; upon seeing his reflection, his hair now resembling a mohawk cut by an amateur barber, Ichiman lets out a resounding scream.

Sweating profusely, a nervous Kid stammers, "Uhm, perhaps we should leave." upon which he and Roxanne begin making their way towards the door. "Not so fast!" Ichiman exclaims sharply. "No one's going anywhere until we go back outside and catch the guilty party! You two can see your little movie next week."

"But it's a Hollywood Bowl movie," Kid notes with concern. "It won't be in theaters next week." Roxanne adds. "Never mind that, just follow me." Ichiman grumbles as he storms toward the door. Kid and Roxanne exchange worried looks as they quickly follow him.

As they begin to leave, Kid sniffs the air. "Say Roxanne, do you smell something funny?" Upon hearing this, Roxanne's brow wrinkles with worry. "Oh dear," She turns to Ichiman. "If I may ask, please, sir, did you use any hair care products earlier?"

"Yes, I did," Ichiman replies curiously. "Why?"

"If the spices in the gravy are mixed with hair care products, it attracts stinkbugs." Roxanne replies. Turning his head with concern, Ichiman quickly spies a stinkbug on his shoulder. "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" he shrieks as the three barrel down the hallway at high speed.


	6. Just Between Glue and Me

Meanwhile, the trio of friends travel through the main building's hallway; as they pass by King Muscle's locker room, they observe, via the door slightly ajar, King Muscle placing a bowl on a cabinet shelf; as he lifts his hand, the bowl appears stuck to his palm, upon which he tries to shake it free. Silver whispers in Shannon's ear, "Could it really be King Muscle?"

"He never seemed like the type," Shannon whispers in reply. "Though admittedly, the eyes don't lie."

As soon as King Muscle removes the bowl from his palm, Silver gently knocks on the door; King Muscle gulps nervously as he rapidly shoves the bowl back onto the shelf. "Uhm, please come in." Upon entering the room, Silver inquires. "Hello, your majesty, may we ask a question, please?"

"Certainly."

"Did you, perchance, borrow a bottle of glue earlier?"

King Muscle's face falls. "Oh dear, please don't tell my wife; she said that if I broke one more bowl while singing the Rice and Cow song she'd be feeding me gruel for a week." Silver blinks curiously. "You didn't glue Ichiman's hands to his head, sir?" King Muscle laughs kindly. "Goodness, no, as much as he deserved it, discretion was the better part of valor in this situation." Silver smiles politely. "Certainly, your majesty, than you for your time."

"You're quite welcome, my young friends." King Muscle politely. "By the way, before you leave...may I have some rice, please?" He picks the bowl up again. "Certainly, sir," Silver replies. "I'll be back in a moment." She then leaves with the bowl in hand.

At this moment, Kid returns, with Meat soon joining him. "I need to warn you, Ichiman's on his way in here and he's come unglued-literally and figuratively!"

"Have ya found th' culprit yet?" Meat inquires. "I'm sorry to say no," Shannon replies. "It appears this glue's been passed down more than gossip at the hair salon."

"King Muscle had the glue last, but he had just used it to fix a bowl." Golden adds. Kid turns to his father curiously. "Was it the Cow and Rice song?" King Muscle nods yes. "Don't worry, Dad, I've done the same myself many times." Kid replies reassuringly. "Somehow I'm not surprised." Shannon mumbles under her breath as Silver returns with a bowl of rice and cow.

At this moment, Ricardo, who had heard the conversation as he was passing by, stops in front of them. "Hmph, of course it wasn't King Muscle, you dopes," he puffs indignantly. "He put the glue back in the drawer in the lobby after he was finished." Upon this, the group stare at him in shock. "King Muscle never said anything about putting the glue in the drawer, how did you know that?" Silver importunes. A nervous bead of sweat trickles down what little of Ricardo's face was visible. "Uhm, uh, I...heard it on the news?"

"Okay, Ricardo, show us your palms." Golden says seriously, upon which Ricardo raises his hands with the backs facing out. "No, the other way." Ricardo then turns his hands sideways. "No the other other way." Ricardo turns his hands upside down. "No, the other other other other..." Silver facepalms with annoyance, "Gah, why must they always do this?! Ricardo, show us your palms." Upon this, Ricardo opens up his palms to reveal a series of leaves and flower petals glued to his hands. The group gasp as King Muscle hands the bowl of rice and cow to Ricardo. "You'd better take this, Ricardo, it's as good as money where you're going."

Presently Ichiman enters the room, wearing a helmet resembling those of the stagehands. "Attention, pitiful wrestlers, look at _this!_ " He quickly removes the helmet, revealing his butchered hair; all but Shannon cringe. "Mmn, he's looked worse."

"Which one of you is responsible?" he demands. "I'm going to sweat it out of you if it takes all day." The group quickly reply, "It was Ricardo."

"Hmm," Ichiman muses. "That didn't take long."

"I-i-it wasn't me," Ricardo stammers nervously. "I promise!" Shannon glares at him skeptically. "Oh really? Then why did you have the glue?"

"Well," Ricardo replies. "I was watching a soccer game on the TV in the lobby; my favorite team lost and I got a little, well...upset."

"How upset?" Golden inquires.

"I kind of...sort of...threw my bottle of soda at a vase and smashed it." Ricardo replies shamefacedly.

The group exchange skeptical looks. "Should we believe him?" Silver whispers in Meat's ear; Ricardo had never been known to be trustworthy. "Hmm," Meat whispers in reply. "Maybe we oughta investigate th' lobby."

"Good idea." the group reply as they make their way toward the lobby. Once inside, Meat browses the area. "Hmm," he muses. "Here's where the vase shattered, with the flowers and water spilled on the floor and the vase partially put back together, and here's the broken soda bottle next to it; over by the couch is a bowl of Fudgy Chewy Chip Chunk candy Ricardo was probably eatin' while watchin' the game, and a pair of fuzzy grey elephant slippers he was probably wearin'."

"Well, this proves two things," Shannon muses, rubbing her chin. "Ricardo was not only telling the truth, but has really weird fashion sense!" Silver stifles a small giggle behind her hand.


	7. Sticking it Out 'Til the End

"But if it wasn't him," Kid replies, picking up his gym bag, which he'd left in the hall earlier. "Then who could it be?" He's no sooner lifted the gym bag than a tube of hair gel falls out. Ichiman gasps, "My 'Do Glue!" A scowl crosses his face. "I should have known, you've always hated me and now you're willing to sell your friends and family down the river to cover your crime! That's low...And I know low."

"That's true." "He does." "Indeed." "He's not wrong." the wrestlers reply, causing Ichiman to give them a quizzical look.

"S-sir, it's not me, I promise!" Kid stammers. "I never went anywhere near your hair gel, please check the security cameras if you don't believe me!" Upon hearing this, Meat's eyes grow wide. "The security cameras? Kid, you're a genius!" Upon this, the group hurry off. Kid blinks in disbelief. "Wow...I've never heard those words used in the same sentence before!"

The group momentarily arrive at the surveillance center, upon which Meat begins to play back the security footage from earlier that morning. "This not only will prove Kid's innocent, but will help us find the real culprit." Shannon notes confidently. The group intently watch footage of the various matches, occasionally seeing such things as Specialman walking by, blowing a large bubble gum bubble, which bursts in his face, Tyrannoclaw sitting in the stands, loudly munching on popcorn, Buster Crab juggling hacky sacks on a nearby bench, and Doc playing the harmonica.

"Mmn," Meat muses. "So far we still ain't got no proof, no one went near the hair gel." Just then, Kid notices something. "Say, what's that?" Upon this, the group look over to see footage of Garnet sneaking the hair gel out of the shopping bag and replacing it with the glue. Golden gasps, "The dog did it! I've solved the case." His friends look at him oddly.

"But how did the 'Do Glue get into my gym bag?" Kid inquires, upon which the group see Garnet sneak the hair gel into the gym bag. "That shifty little mutt! I never trusted her." Silver notes indignantly. Now it's the group's turn to look at her oddly.

"Now, now," Ichiman quickly amends. "I'm sure Garnet meant no harm. I've been training her to fetch my hair care products, and I'm sure my little dear just misunderstood." He then quickly and quietly traipses off, leaving the gang staring blankly. "Hmm," Silver muses. "Shall we mark this case closed?" Shannon replies, "Such as it is, yes."

Kid glances at his watch. "Well, I don't mean to be rude, but I'll need to meet Roxanne in a few minutes. Thanks for everything, guys." He then sets off. "You're very much welcome, Kid." the group politely reply as he leaves.

As Kid and Roxanne are making their way to the movie theater moments later, a curious look crosses Kid's face. "You know...I wonder if Garnet put the glue in Ichiman's bag on purpose." Roxanne replies, "Oh, I'm sure she didn't, she loves Ichiman...for reasons well beyond my realm of understanding."

"Hmm, that is true." Kid replies. "After all, she wouldn't bite the hand the hand that feeds her filet mignon."

Meanwhile, Ichiman sits in front of his mirror, styling his hair into a tall, spiky mohawk. "Say," he notes, admiring the result. "This kind of works! Then again, I can make anything work, now can't I?" He then looks down to see Garnet with a scowl on her face; thinking quickly, he fills her dish with dog food and gives it to her. "Here, Honey, here's a nice dinner for you." The little dog then begins to eat, causing Ichiman to smile. "There, there, that's much better. And I know you didn't mean to hurt me, did you?" As Ichiman leaves he barely hears Garnet snarling angrily at him.

 **THE END**

Voice Cast

Kid Muscle-Mark Thompson

Mr. Meat/Ferrets-Mike Pollock

Terry Kenyon/Squid-Gregory Abbey

Dik Dik van Dik/Ferrets-David Faustino

Wally Tuskett-Steven Christopher Parker

Checkmate/Ricardo-Vinnie Penna

Sydney Didgeridoozy/Ferrets-Lynda Boyd

Golden Receiver-Phil LaMarr

Shinobi Shannon/Garnet/Ferrets-Audrey Wasilewski

Ichiman McMadd-Oliver Wyman

Kevin Mask/Doc Nakano/Monsieur Cheeks-Ted Lewis

Roxanne-Lisa Ortiz

King Muscle/Mac Metaphor-Fred Tataiscore

Robin Mask-Bob Joles

Hanzo-Tohoru Masamune

Road Rage-Sebastian Arcelus


End file.
